Whatever happened . . . happened!

I've always heard that saying - "Whatever happened, happened!" and no matter what that 'whatever' was, my response was always "Well it DID happened, and now I'm pissed and/or hurt! What do you want me to do?" And based on the very same saying, obviously I couldn't do anything about it - because it already happened! Duh!!!

But this is ME we're talking about. I have NEVER been able to just 'let things go'. If I'm crossed, angered, betrayed, etc, etc, etc, well . . . I'll be cross, angry, hurt, etc, etc, etc. But the thing is these feelings hold you back from moving on, from forgiving, from learning, from developing as an individual. Whenever you encounter that person/situation that upset you, you remember EVERYTHING! You go over the story of how things played out, you remember your anger or hurt, and you constantly remind yourself of how bad of a person you are, or how bad the other person was. Is this the way we should really live? Of course NOT! But why does this happen? Why is it easier for one person to forgive and move on and not the other? Why when a friend betrayed me in the past, I stay up all night reliving the story, while the friend is sound asleep, without a care in the world?!

There are alot of disciplines or teachings that advocate against this kind of . . . being. And rightfully so. Because then, life would simply suck ass if all we did was keep record of everybody's wrong. There are the Fruits of the Spirit (if you are religious like myself) that stipulate how we should all deal with each other regardless of the past. The Fruits of the Spirit being Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control are the basic traits one must develop, and in doing so would result in less hurt or broken relationships, and would make forgiveness a breeze (for people like me). Another popular teaching I'm reading up on now is the Inner Peace 'movement' (for want of a better word) or Zen-like living, that teaches one to get rid of all ill feelings in order to achieve personal peace.

The question is . . . HOW?

How do you get rid of feelings that have been brewing inside your head for some time?
How do you just 'let things go'?
How do you leave the past in the past?
How do you forgive someone who's betrayed you without allowing them to hurt you again?
How do you move on?

It is necessary to 'let go' of the things that happened and move on. Life continues, with or without me! So why is it so hard to 'live and let live'? Another big part of this . . . concept, is forgiving yourself for holding on to the grudges as long as you do. Is that the first or last step? I cant tell! But I do know, in order to find my own Inner Peace, and be happy in life, I have to let go of the things, people, and situations that have caused me pain in the past, because they are - in fact - in the past. There is literally NOTHING I can do about it. Soooo I've lost quite a few friends, passed up several opportunities because of this paralysing hurt, and hindered my personal progress because I'm always looking back - it is now time to move forward!

"Whatever happened . . . Happened (for a reason)!"