Scars!

When I was a child, at the age of 5, sometime after the hurricane Gilbert passed over Kingston, I got a 'cut'. As an only child at this time, I often played by myself outside, and well . . . you see . . . the hurricane had pretty much just passed and I, being of sound mind and everything, wanted to investigate the crime scenes in our backyard. I remember there being grass and debris everywhere, the place looked a wreck! The best playground EVER!!! 


So I found my grandmother's grape vine. I'd always see grandma fishing around her grape vine and well, I'd always wanted to try and climb it. Well, not the vine, by the frame itself. One thing led to another, and . . . I got cut! I got a deep massive intrusion (a so di medical phrase go?!) on my upper inner left thigh. I got probably 8 stitches for it and a nasty scar to remind me of this story. The funny part is that no one has an accurate account of the incident. I was 5! I cant recall the full details of the event, besides my mother AND grandmother both have their own accounts of the event! But, this is my version . . . and I'm sticking to it!


Because of this particular scar, I was always afraid to wear swimsuits in public, I avoided shorts, any kind of clothing that would reveal this 'horror'. But then I got to an age when I just couldn't bother trying to hide it anymore. I HAD to view my scar in a different light. This particular scar taught me that at a very young age, I was a tough cookie! In fact, all my scars show me that I was real badass! For instance, there is a scar on my forehead that I got from falling out of a tree (just writing this out makes me laugh). I was at prep school waiting on my ride home when I decided to climb a tree in the parking lot. Somehow I fell out and got cut in my forehead. At this point, the principal was used to me running into the office with blood all over me. Anyways, I was taken to the hospital to get stitched up again. My mother says I was so restless, irritable, and crying, ONLY because I could not see what the Doctor was doing. Apparently the nurse insisted on covering my eyes. Once they got a mirror and allowed me to watch the Doctor sew up my forehead (like I can make sure he's doing it right?!) I was fine! I was a real Badass!!!


I have a scar on my shin I got from my dog who bit me one evening (maybe I was too sweet for him not to try, I dunno). I have one right above my left knee I got while washing the car, one on my index finger from washing a glass that was broken (that I didn't know about), one in the back of my head - a girl at school ran smack dab right into me like I wasn't even there - floored me completely!


My point is, if you sat down and counted how many scars you had and how you got it, you'd 1. definitely laugh at the stories, 2. like the memory lane tour, and 3. feel somewhat proud about how you got these scars, as silly as they may seem. These scars define your character. I'm not saying they make you who you are, but they definitely add character to your personality. And I love all my scars, I am proud of my battle wounds (Lol!), and the stories they tell!


What got me thinking though, was, why can we be so candid about our physically ugly scars and the stories behind them but life's scars are way more scary?! And for a 'people' sooooo image conscious, its strange that our physical scars are more acceptable and openly discussed, but the scars we cant see? Those scars are well hidden away behind rubble, debris, and loads of baggages.


If a physical scar adds character, why doesn't an emotional scar also add character? Not because they are 'emotional' scars doesn't mean we must hang onto the experience and fear it. Nor does it mean we should never acknowledge or appreciate what we went through to get that scar. If I can get a scar from washing the car, does that mean I should fear washing cars? Or even the dishes? What about getting a dog? My own dog bit me as a child. Does that mean I shouldn't get a dog? (Cause I already have a puppy who loves to bite). My second point is, scars (whether physical or emotional) serve as a reminder of some experiences we have to go through, but they should never hinder us from personal growth.


One major emotional scar for me was growing up without a father-figure. Many people have gone through this, many people are going through this right now, for whatever reason, whether he died, or he just chose not to be around (which was my case). Fact of the matter is, I had/have no father. But this scar doesn't just remind me of that fact, it makes me appreciate all the men I have in my life now. My relationship with my boyfriend, my grandfather, my male friends, their wives/girlfriends, and their relationship with their children, I appreciate them all. And because of this, I understand the importance of a father in my children's lives.


So, if you take nothing else from this post, take this - your scars (whether physical or emotional) help build your character. Try to look at your scars in a different light and embrace the lessons learnt. But if nothing else, try to find some humour in the stories of those scars, something that'll make the acceptance much easier.

Peace, Love, and Happiness . . . Always!